The devastating nature of depression often leads us to feel a whirlpool of not-so-nice things. Commonly, we feel that we’re not enough; good enough nor doing enough. The negative thoughts that lie and tell us that we’re useless, come at us thick and fast.
We feel convinced that there’s a part of us that’s fundamentally lacking in some way. Heck, in all of the ways. And it can be incredibly difficult to accept any other viewpoint than the ‘we’re just not enough’ one.
We all have uncertainties we’d rather not have; aspects of our character, skill-sets, and appearance, that can make us feel a bit wobbly and insecure. Depression can amplify our insecurities because it seems to magnify them and dangle them right in front of our noses. We start to worry that those uncertainties are flaws which repel the very things we want in life, forgetting that we all have them, and that they’re not the full picture of who we are.
Beating Ourselves Up
Our perspective of ourselves can be muddy and sludge-y – depression’s filter. We can get caught up in a cycle of negative self-talk and berating, without noticing that’s even the case. Our strong inner critics drown any compliments we’re given which are at complete odds with how we feel. It can be hard to see our good bits when all the bad bits are shouting so loud.
When we think of other people, we tend to see them as a whole person, quirks and all. We don’t look at them and spend time lingering over their foibles, we accept that they’re part and parcel of that person’s make-up. That’s how other people see us too; they see the ‘whole’ us – not the horrible bits that depression blows out of proportion.
We Feel As Though We’ve Failed
Life throws a spanner in the works for everyone. Very rarely does life, even for those who don’t have to manage depression, follow our carefully laid out plans. And depression can put a great big halt to so much; our studies, our careers, our relationships, life as we know it. We haven’t failed, though, when that happens. We’re just re-calibrating. Everybody’s success looks different, and continuing to keep going despite living with depression is a big success in itself.
We often compare ourselves to others. Our friends. Our colleagues. Our family members. The parents at the school gates who are always on time. Even people who we don’t know. Our social media feeds are filled with smiling faces, achievements, and highlights. It can appear as though everyone’s life is perfect… except from ours.
Social media is not an accurate representation of real life. People rarely post the bad bits. We use filters to hide how tired we are. We crop out the people we’ve argued with. Unconsciously, or consciously, we all create our timelines to be the image of our ‘best’ life.
Everyone compares themselves to everyone else. In fact, there are probably a lot of people who compare bits of their lives to us. They wish that they had a family like the picture we posted of our relations last summer. They wish they could bake/write/draw/paint/knit/crochet like we do. They wish they had the courage to speak openly about their tough times. We all compare ourselves to others – but the good things going on in other people’s lives don’t diminish the good things going on in our own lives, it’s all relative.
We’re Allowed To Be Upset
We’re allowed to be upset or disappointed when we feel unable to do things that we want to do. Or unable to be the person that we so desperately want to be. It’s okay to feel however we feel – especially when depression makes things harder. Everybody has ups and downs. Sometimes we need to allow ourselves to be human and to allow ourselves to feel how we feel.
It’s Time To Be Ourselves
We spend so much time chasing other people and trying to be someone, that in our heart of hearts, we know we’re not. We compromise who we are to fit in who we think we should be. We really are enough, exactly as we are. There is nobody else quite like us. Trying to embrace that, and allowing ourselves to accept it, can help us to feel more at peace with ourselves.
We Are Lovelier Than We Think
We are so much more than our depression. We have good bits, not-so-good-bits, quirks, talents, embarrassing moments, and occasionally the odd disaster. But there is nobody in this entire world who is quite like us and that’s a positive thing, honestly. Our perspective on ourselves has been battered, skewed and muddied, it’s often not at all forgiving either. We are so much much than we think we are.
We Are Enough
We are enough. We are so enough. We are always doing our best, and that’s to be applauded. We try our hardest to keep going, despite the challenges that life throws at us. It’s admirable. We are more than enough. Feeling as though we’re enough, doesn’t come from external things, it comes from us.
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