Depression is a bully. It constantly feeds us lies. It says horrible things to us. We can often ignore its words for a while, but when depression repeats the lies over and over again, we start to believe it. Before we know it, it can feel like our head is full of lies.
1. Depression tries to convince us that we’re not actually ill
Depression often tries to convince us that we’re not ill. It tells us we don’t have depression, we’re just lazy. That we’re overreacting and making a fuss. That we’re doing it for attention. And because we’re “not ill”, how we feel is our fault. Because we’re “not ill” we don’t deserve any help or support. Because we’re “not ill” we’re just broken.
This is a dangerous lie. Depression is an illness and it is not our fault. We haven’t invented it for our own selfish reasons. We’re not making it up. We’re ill and we need help and we need support to get better. We might need medication to help us manage. We might need to take time off work until we’re in a place where we are able to work again. It’s impossible to just ‘pull ourselves together’. We have an illness.
2. Depression tells us that everything is our fault
Depression loves to tell us that absolutely everything is our fault – even things we have no control over. It tells us that we are responsible for things we read in the news. Someone else could have left a tissue in the washing machine and we blame ourselves. Our friend’s car might have broken down last week, and that’s our fault too (even though we were nowhere near it). All we do is cause problems. Everything is our fault.
Depression is lying again. It’s impossible for everything in the world to be our fault. Yes, we might mistakes sometimes, everybody does. Nobody is perfect. But even if we do make mistakes – that’s okay! Not everything is our fault.
3. Depression tells us that nobody cares about us or likes us
Depression tells us that nobody loves us. That nobody cares about us. That the people in our lives are there out of duty or pity. It tells us everything would be better if we’d never been born. It tells us we are unloveable.
Depression is so wrong. We are loved. People care about us. We have a whole army of people rooting for us, even if we struggle to see it at times. The truth is, we matter – and we matter to those around us. We are not alone.
4. Depression tells us that we’re not good enough
Depression tells us that we’re not good enough. That we’re useless, stupid, inferior. It tells that we are always falling behind. Every time we do something, it whispers in our ear that we should have done it better. However hard we try, and whatever we do, we are never, ever good enough.
Depression’s whispers are cruel and unnecessary. We are enough – we are always enough – even on our bad days. If we have done our best, then that is more than enough. We can’t do any more than that – it’s impossible. We’re not superhumans! Perfection is a myth. Who we are is more than enough.
5. Depression tells us that we don’t deserve things
Depression tells us that we are worthless and that we don’t deserve anything. We don’t deserve nice things. We don’t deserve comfort or kindness. That we don’t deserve to be warm, happy or alive. That we don’t deserve to eat, sleep or breathe.
Depression is wrong. We do deserve things. We deserve all the good things in life – and more besides. Everyone deserves care, support and comfort. We don’t need to ‘earn’ our right to be alive.
6. Depression tells us that we’re a bad person
Depression tells us that we are awful. That we’re a bad person. That we’re evil, wrong, monstrous even. It tells us that we are the worst person to have ever existed – and that we shouldn’t be here.
Depression is lying. We are not bad. We’re not horrible or evil or inherently wrong. We are just people with an illness – an illness which is doing its very best to drag us down.
7. Depression tells us to be quiet
Depression tries to silence us. It tries to stop us from speaking to people. It tells us that we have nothing worth saying. That we’re boring and stupid and annoying. That our friends and family are just putting up with us, that they just want us to shut up.
Depression is lying to try and manipulate us into silence. If we retreat and isolate ourself it has more power over us. We need to try and ignore what it says. We do have a voice. People do care about what we have to say. We deserve to be heard.
8. Depression tells us that we’re a burden
Depression tells us that we drag everyone else down. It tells us that we are a burden. That we’re wasting our lives, wasting opportunities, and wasting other people’s time. It tells us we shouldn’t be here.
Depression is being cruel. Even when we’re ill, we have so much to offer the world. We have skills, talents and ideas. We have people who want to spend time with us. Yes, depression makes it hard to live life as we would always want to, but that’s not our fault – it’s depressions. We deserve to be here. We are not a burden.
9. Depression tells us that we don’t deserve help and support
Depression tells us that we don’t deserve any help and support because we’re worthless, useless and inconsequential . It tells us we deserve to suffer. That other people are more deserving than we are. That we should be able to just fix ourselves.
Depression is lying. We do deserve help. We do deserve support. And we need it too. We are valuable, we are worth so much, we matter. We deserve as much help and support as we need to get us through each day.
10. Depression tells us that there is no hope
Depression tells us to give up hope. That things will always be bleak. That we have no future. It tells us we’ll never find happiness, that we’ll never get better, that we’re better off dead.
This is the most insidious lie of all. There is always hope. Always. Life with depression is hard – that’s without a doubt. But we can recover. We can get to a better place. The world would be a much darker, less sparkly place without us in it. We need to keep fighting. We’re important, we matter, and we deserve more than depression. There is always hope.
We Are Better Than The Lies
Depression’s lies are horrible. They pain us, and they make us doubt ourselves. We are not alone: most people with depression experience something similar.
But help out there. It is possible to get to a point where depression is no longer overwhelming us with lies. We need to try and be kind to ourselves. We’re not bad people. We’re not broken. We deserve support. And we deserve a life free from depression’s lies.
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