Thank you for stopping to read this.
Thank you for letting us sit with you. We know how much you’re hurting. We understand that choosing to open this wasn’t easy. We can’t fix everything for you, but we can sit with you until it feels a little less intense.
You are not a bad person for feeling this way. You are not broken. You are not a failure. You are not ungrateful or selfish. You are not a problem. You are a person who is hurting. You are a person who deserves love, help, and support. You are unique. You are more than your illness. You deserve kindness. You deserve a chance at life.
You do not want to feel this way. You would make yourself feel better if you could. You would do anything at all to feel better right now but nothing is working. You have tried everything you can think of. We understand. You feel like you’ve run out of options. But you don’t have to do this alone. Other people might have some different ideas of things you could try. You just have to hang on long enough to let them in.
We know that you feel like you’ve run out of coping. We know that you have no idea how to get through the next five seconds, never mind the next five minutes. You have no idea how to manage all of the things going on in your life. It’s okay. Right now, you don’t need to manage your entire life. You don’t need to get through the next day, or even the next hour. You just have to get through the next few seconds. It’s okay to take it a few seconds at a time.
There’s a tiny bit of you what wants to live. It’s very hidden right now. Depression is completely overwhelming. But it’s there. That tiny spark is in there, somewhere, because you’re reading this. There is a tiny part of you that wants to keep going. You have no idea how to keep going. You have no idea how to cope with life. But there is a tiny part of you that doesn’t want it all to end right now. Hang on to it.
We know that it feels as though this isn’t something you can recover from. You’re absolutely exhausted. You have no fight left in you. You don’t have the energy needed to breathe, never mind the energy needed to contemplate living. It’s horrible. But however hopeless and bleak it might seem right now, it can get better. Other people have been where you are right now. Recovery is possible.
If you want to, there are people you can speak to. There are helplines out there. If you are not comfortable speaking on the phone, you could try an online chat. If you would like to speak to someone in person, you can go to A&E. You are not alone, whatever time of day or night it is. There are people who would love to speak to you. You are not alone.
If you are able to, please try to be kind to yourself. Wrap yourself up in a blanket so tightly that you can’t move. Put the radio or TV on so that you feel less alone. Cuddle your favourite teddy. You don’t deserve pain. You deserve kindness.
It’s been a few minutes and you’re still with us. Thank you. Thank you for allowing us to sit next to you. We hope that you feel a little more able to breathe. We would love it if you could reach out to someone, but we understand that you might not feel able to do that right now. Read this again. Read it until you feel able to breathe out. Read it until you feel able to stand up and get yourself a glass of water. Read it until you feel able to reach out for help.
We care. You matter. You are loved. We believe that you are able to get through this.
Lots of love,
The Blurt Team x
- Sane Charity provide crisis support between 4.30pm and 10.30pm 365 days a year on 0300 304 7000.
- The Samaritans provide 24 hour confidential emotional support. It is also free to call them and their number won’t appear on your telephone bill 116 123.
- If you can’t talk, IMAlive offer an online crisis intervention service.
- If don’t feel safe and are worried about an immediate risk of harm, please call 999 and ask for the police or ambulance service.